what f… ? – Alexey

работать весь день за компьютером скучно, это очевидно. для того чтобы как-то развлечь себя, мы, внутри BT, среди нашей компании, придумали mail лист. вот как у нас в mail листе развлекаются:

написано в стиле официальных email-ов, из HR ;))

To All Staff,

RE: SWEARING AT WORK

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore a list of 18 new and innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a ball-busting c__t.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do that?

TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing chance.

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh__ing me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a f__.

TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f____ing problem.

TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that in.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ing h _ll didn’t you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my f___ a__.

TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I’m not doing overtime.

TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__ dumb f____

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks c__k.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources